Talor Gooch nearly went full Chubbs this week at the 2018 Zurich Classic, and I can assure you that you never, ever want to go full Chubbs. Gooch, playing alongside last week's winner Andrew Landry at the team event Thursday in New Orleans, hit a ball into a bunker where three alligators were within a few feet.
Chesson Hadley nudged two of the alligators with a rake on their tails and they went into a pond. After poking and prodding at the third gator, which snapped at and attempted to eat the rake, Gooch was given a free drop 10 yards back in the same bunker.
"The third one was eating the rake basically, so we decided that we would not take the chance," Gooch told PGA Tour.com. "They weren't happy with us … I'm sure we would have been fine but any little movement by them -- no chance I could make solid contact.
"We went back in the bunker a little bit -- unfortunately when you take a drop in the bunker you are going to get a terrible lie - but I chose life over a good lie in the bunker. I like my life. I like it with all my limbs. So I stay away from those things."
A wise choice considering the jowls on this fellow. Gooch went on to make a par, which the team used toward its 6-under 66 score in Round 1.
I'm guessing Gooch would not pull a Cody Gribble or approve of what Gribble did last year during the Arnold Palmer Invitational.
Gooch and Landry shot 4-under 140 over the first two days but will miss the cut. Hey, it could have been a lot (like, a lot) worse, though.