While Twitter is often maligned as a magnificent waste of one's time, it can also serve as an instruction manual to the Good Life. This was very much the case on Friday, when free-agent lefty and valet to dignity Dallas Braden tweeted advice so sound it seems lifted from the shared ruminations of Solomon and Confucius ...
Spoiler alert: farting in the hot shower after a night out, while liberating, will in fact induce a dry heave followed by dribbles of vomit
— Dallas Braden (@DALLASBRADEN209) December 28, 2012
Now, neophytes, venture into the world about you and tell the others what you have learned.
For more baseball news, rumors and analysis, follow @EyeOnBaseball on Twitter, subscribe to the RSS feed and "like" us on Facebook.