On Wednesday night, Hornets rookie P.J. Hairston tried to sell a call. In attempting to do so, he dramatically overplayed his actions after getting bumped by Spurs point guard Tony Parker, and, arms akimbo, flailing wildly, Hairston flew to the ground, to be checked on by Gregg Popovich.
This may have been the greatest flop in NBA history.
First, the flop.
But there is so much more in this sequence to be adored beyond just the simple flop. In fact, when you look at it through a certain lens, Hairston has in fact disproven Newton's third law of physics.
Let's back up, though. First, an incredible bit of trivia here is that there are actually two flops on the play. Look here at the 11:07 mark as Danny Green sticks his leg right on out there trying to trip up the pursuing Charlotte defender.
After Green makes contact by voluntarily and purposefully sticking his leg out, Green then follows that up with an audacious flop. Watch as he goes to one knee here first:
Then, after he goes to one knee, he completely collapses.
Because it's totally natural thing to just collapse onto your back like that.
Here comes Hairston. He's primed. He's pumped. The Hornets are only down eight. This is his chance! He reaches in ...
He manages to alter Parker's course, which is a good thing. But gadzooks! That elbow! It's like it was from the gods!
Bam! Parker's mighty elbow sends Hairston flying.
Before we continue, a brief reminder on Newton's third law of physics, from Wikipedia:
Third law: When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body.
via Newton's laws of motion - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
"Each action has an equal and opposite reaction."
So it's not surprising that Hairston was shoved off a little bit. That's to be expected ...
And yet, a mighty wind did blow! And Hairston was rendered powerless as it flung his arms over his head like a toddler taking off his jacket!
Behold. The flying man.
In works of art from the beginning of time, you see certain elements of mathematical greatness. Behold the illuminati.
At this point, there's no explanation for what has caused Hairston to fly through the air like this. Was it a supernatural force? Was Hairston overcome with the spirit? Did Parker release some gust of wind when he turned that caused Hairston, a full second after contact is made, to begin to fly through the air?
He even straightens himself upright as he's falling. That's not a natural falling motion! And yet!
As the impact from whatever struck him fades, Hairston turns to the sideline, and through trying to recover from the elemental power that befell him, still turns his face toward the official as if to cry out "Mercy?"
Obviously rattled and concerned by seeing his fellow man so shaken by whatever extra-terrestrial forces sent him flying, Gregg Popovich checks on the youngster.
Meanwhile, in the cruelest twist of fate, Green, Hairston's original assignment, who had first flopped on his own, has recovered and is now shooting a wide-open three. Oh, what cruel fate!
And just as Green is launching, Hairston sits up and is able to witness the might of the Spurs' offense, even as he tries to grapple with what just befell him.
Some may call Hairston's flop embarrassing, or "an affront to everything basketball is supposed to be." Or in the least, they might accuse him of being dramatic. But instead, I choose to believe it was dramatic, in that it gave us something beautiful.
Here, watch the flop slowed down, set to Ave Maria and tell me that you don't find yourself moved by the grace and beauty of the movement. Truly, as it was said in Amadeus, this is not just a flop. This is God speaking to us, in flop.