KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- As the Chiefs arrived to the locker room on Sunday at Arrowhead Stadium, LB Jovan Belcher's locker had his jersey hanging up. It didn't look any different than it normally does on any other Sunday.
What the Chiefs had to do Sunday was much different. They had to play a football game that didn't seem to matter much in light of what happened a day before. Those details sound made up. Belcher murdered his 22-year-old girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, police concluded, then drove to the team's practice facility, thanked coach Romeo Crennel and general manager Scott Pioli, and then took his own life.
The Chiefs had to remember a teammate who they all said that they could never have imagined would do such a thing -- but not celebrate him too much for what he did.
"To understand and also know what happened that morning, that's probably for me the most confusing and most hard part to know about all this," OT Eric Winston said.
"It really hit me this morning, waking up not being able to talk to Jovan," linebacker Derrick Johnson said. "Being the middle backer, the heart of this defense, that's who I talk to all the time. It's tough. It hit me going to the stadium. ... I knew we had to pull together; he's a really strong-minded guy, so I knew he would want us to pull together and get a win."
The team took the field 43 minutes before kickoff and gathered in the end zone. Fans cheered, and the game played out much different than all the rest, a 27-21 win over Carolina, the Chiefs' second win all season.
The details of how it happened seem insignificant, but the fact that it played out the way it did spoke to how united the Chiefs were through the weekend.
"I think in moments of tragedy like this they can either define you or you redefine you," quarterback Brady Quinn said. "I think this team was able to take an event and allow it to redefine us as a team."
Should they have even played?
Some questioned that, but the Chiefs' players said they needed to play. Crennel asked his captains their opinions on Saturday, and it was unanimous that they wanted the game to go on as scheduled.
On Sunday, the jersey and helmet hung at the locker of Jovan Belcher, who murdered his girlfriend on Saturday, police concluded, then took his own life. (C.J. Moore) |
"I spoke from experience," said QB Matt Cassel, who lost his father on a Tuesday in December of 2008 and then played that Sunday for the Patriots. "Romeo asked me whether or not we should play, and I told him that it was a healthy distraction to be able to get back to my teammates and my family and go out and play and get away from the chaos."
"That's what we do," Crennel said. "We are football players, football coaches and we play and coach on Sunday. That's why I wanted to play the game. ... If for no other reason, it takes our mind off our misery for a few hours."
No player felt the sting more than running back Jamaal Charles. Charles' wife was the cousin of Perkins. Charles and his wife had introduced Perkins to Belcher.
"I made sure to hug him up," Winston said. "I told him before the game, 'Listen, I know you've been carrying us for a while; we're going to go carry you today,' and I wanted him to know that."
Charles ran for 127 yards, a key to his team pulling out the win. Through the losses Kansas City has had this year, Charles has always been willing to answer questions after each game, but he was gone before the media had access to the locker room.
"I feel for Jamaal more than anybody," Winston said. "Jamaal's had probably the toughest day. She was family to him."
The Chiefs also talked of Belcher as family, and many have turned their attention to Belcher and Perkins' 3-month-old daughter Zoey. Quinn said that he and some teammates planned to put together a fund for Zoey.
"At the end of the day, money is just half the equation," Winston said. "We can toss all the money on it we want, but it's not going to bring the parents back. It's not going to make sure she has a great home to grow up in and it's not going to make sure she has every chance to be successful just like everyone else does."
After the game, Crennel stood behind a podium and gave a statement that it appeared he had prepared.
"I want to start with yesterday's tragedy and remind everybody that it involved two families," he said. "Our prayers go out to the family of Kasandra Perkins. They are grieving and we send our condolences to their family. Our prayers and condolences go out to the family of Javon Belcher, they're also grieving. Our prayers and hopes go out to a 3-month-old Zoey. A little girl who will never get to know her mother and father. We are grieving for all that's involved.
"It's tough when circumstance happen. You can't undo them. So you have to rely on each other, rely on your family and friends and rely on your faith. That's what the team tried to do today and we were able to do that and try to work our way through the tragedy, knowing that it's not over today. It will go on tomorrow, the next day and the next day, but life is going to go on as well and we've got to try to work through it."
Crennel said that he would not answer any questions about what he witnessed on Saturday.
"Hopefully, you will understand my wishes on that, because it wasn't a pretty sight," he said.
Crennel's voice never wavered. There were no tears, and his players mirrored their coach. Of Belcher, Crennel said: "Jovan was a good teammate, a hard worker, sit in the front of the room all the time. You don't expect anything like what happened."
No one did.
Follow Chiefs reporter C.J. Moore on Twitter @CBSChiefs and @cjmoore4.