"Hard Knocks" returned on Tuesday night with another inside look at the dual Los Angeles training camps taking place in the run-up to the 2020 NFL season, and after the way the premiere episode ended, with Rams coach Sean McVay commentating on porta potty etiquette, well, Episode 2 had a high bar to top.
Who are we kidding? The NFL season's fast approach has plenty of us pumped up and ready to run through a brick wall, but the kickoff to this year's edition of "Hard Knocks" was nothing crazy, in part because teams are still navigating their return to work amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
Fortunately, Tuesday's episode was much wilder and wackier, with Sean McVay recruiting his alter ego, Jon Gruden, for an explosive cameo featuring an Antonio Brown reunion, and the Chargers hosting a team roast of the Rams' new uniforms. Just kidding. None of that happened. But some things did. So let's get to the real power rankings and stack up this week's performances:
5. Tyrod Taylor
Los Angeles Grizzly Adams was back, but this time had exactly zero lines of dialogue and zero highlight-reel throws. Quite the compelling quarterback we have on our hands, ladies and gentlemen!
Last week: 5
4. Clay Johnston and quirky phrases
Johnston, the rookie Rams linebacker out of Baylor, at first seemed a little too friendly to be true, but by the end of his limited appearance, he'd completely won us over. We counted three times he used "Fudge!" as an exclamation for his own rookie mistakes, and that was but a taste of his unusually wholesome, self-deprecating humor: "I'm dishonoring your play," he told a fellow linebacker after a missed read. "You're a freakin' prophet," he told another after receiving advice.
Johnston also carried a torch of quirky language that was first lit by Chargers trainer John Lott earlier in the episode. Advising rookie running back Darius Bradwell, who'd put on some pounds before camp, Lott's words were equally as fascinating:
Your stinkin' head coach is an ex-running back, so he's gonna look at you like a German Shepherd with his ears up at an airport. This pecker's lookin' at you ... but you gotta get your stinkin' mind right ... This ain't no pie-eatin' contest ... No stinkin' tacos at midnight.
Last week: Unranked
3. Dont'e Deayon's clown laugh
"Hard Knocks" tried to establish Deayon, a fifth-year backup, as a standout character in Episode 1, when he jokingly compared his teammates' better locker-room arrangements to the suburbs. His appearance this time around was better, mainly because of the deranged laugh he let loose during coverage drills.
Has this guy ever considered wearing makeup and pretending to be the Joker in actual NFL games? Seems like a surefire way to boost his spot on the depth chart.
Last week: Unranked
2. Jon Gruden (er, Sean McVay)
The Rams coach wasn't as prominently featured this time around, mostly because the bulk of the "downtime" in Episode 2 was more forgettable exposition about COVID-19 protocols. But you can just tell that when he's on camera, he's ready to rock.
Maybe he's overdoing it. Maybe he's not. Who cares? The guy still comes off like a mini Gruden and darn near referenced the fact by hollering the "Monday Night Football" theme during a team drill. In a series that's largely lacked juice so far, he's bursting with it. Let's hope he rips into Jared Goff even more next time around.
Last week: 1
1. Jalen Ramsey
Why on Earth are the cameras not following him around more? Sorry, but it's painfully obvious after two episodes that this needs to be a Jalen Ramsey documentary more than anything. Honestly, what's the worst that could happen if the "Hard Knocks" crew just flat-out got pushy and demanded more Ramsey airtime? The cornerback's inevitable tirade against the cameramen would be the most entertaining thing to happen on this year's show yet.
Seriously, though, no one's oozing genuine swag like he is, and that should be no surprise if you've followed his career thus far. In limited Episode 2 bits alone, he openly called his trade out of Jacksonville "one of the best days of my life," told his realtor his "abs are made of steel" with 100 percent sincerity and dubbed himself the "Lebron/Kawhi" of the NFL. We need more. Maybe someone can set up another Zoom call where reporters badger him about his contract?
Last week: Unranked