Troy Tulowitzki closed the book on a prestigious 13-year run in Major League Baseball on Thursday, announcing his retirement from the game at age 34, but he also closed the book on something else: One of the most forgettable New York Yankees careers of all time.
The longtime short stop was beloved in Colorado, where he spent parts of 10 seasons with the Rockies as a two-time Gold Glove winner, two-time Silver Slugger and five-time All-Star. But after signing with the Yankees this offseason, the veteran lasted in the lineup for five regular-season games before relocating to the injured list with a left calf strain. Transferred to the 60-day injured list in early June, Tulowitzki had completely drifted into the shadows until Thursday's surprise retirement, which not only reminded us he was still technically in pinstripes but also that he never really wore them.
In his honor, we present a list of five of the most forgettable big names to ever suit up for the Yankees (or did they?), with our newly retired friend headlining the contingent:
Troy Tulowitzki
Not much more needs to be said about the ex-Rockies star, mainly because if we go on any longer, we'll be talking about him as a Yankee for longer than he actually was a Yankee. By the time he signed with New York, of course, Tulowitzki was already on a trend toward hanging up the cleats, having seen his brief Blue Jays stint derailed by injuries. But still, when we look back fondly at his record-setting moments in Colorado, are any of us going to remember those five games he gave the Yanks?
Kerry Wood
Unlike Tulowitzki, Wood didn't officially end his career with the Yankees. He also did well in the Big Apple, going 2-0 with a 0.69 ERA in 26 innings for the club after coming over from the Cleveland Indians at the 2010 trade deadline. The issue is he never made it past those 26 innings. That's not even three full games worth of relief duties! The longtime right-hander will go down as a Chicago Cubs standout and former NL Rookie of the Year with a historic strikeout pace, but his awesome Yankees legacy simply never was.
Lance Berkman
We'd extend our sympathies to Yankees fans for this one, but the Yankees are also the team that pays exorbitant amounts of cash for exorbitant amounts of superstars, meaning the occasional slip-ups -- like Berkman -- are forgotten even easier. Still, this marriage was supposed to breed bombs. A five-time All-Star who'd five times smashed more than 30 homers before landing in New York via trade in 2010, the Houston Astros stud floundered in 37 games, knocking just one out of the park, then left for the St. Louis Cardinals in 2011, going on to win a World Series and Comeback Player of the Year honors.
Derek Lowe
Much like Wood, Lowe has a solid, solid resume, and that includes his time with the Yankees -- in case you forgot, which, we're betting, you did. The former Red Sox, Dodgers and Braves hurler posted a respectable 1-1 record and 3.04 ERA in 17 games for the club in 2012. But there's the familiar key: Just 17 games. He was only added in August that year and remained on the team's postseason roster, but you'd be excused if you completely forgot he ever wore the pinstripes.
Kevin Youkilis
Ten bucks says there's a Red Sox fan who's learning this for the first time and now has to pretend to be outraged. The two-time World Series champion and three-time All-Star corner infielder actually first went to the White Sox in 2012 (that's not a joke), but before rounding out his pro baseball career in Japan (also not a joke), "Youk" made amends with New York media to suit up for a whopping 28 games in 2013, hitting .219 in between a handful of stints on the then-disabled list.