 |
| The Jags and Vikes highlight some of the worst games of 2012. (Getty Images) |
Finding the 10 worst games on the NFL schedule is actually a harder task than finding the 10 best games on the NFL schedule, especially in April, when the world is pining for some actual football and yet knowing that it's so, so many baseball games away from actually happening.
And besides, it's not like any football is really bad, per se. It's kind of like pizza in that sense. Everyone loves pizza, and there are many different and delicious kinds of pizza. Everyone's willing to eat pizza, but there is also the kind of pizza that you only want to eat when you're drunk and it's 3 a.m. (Looking at you, Gumby's.)
There are the NFL's version of Pokey Stix.
Jaguars at Vikings, Week 1, September 9
Vikes-Jags already had "overdrafted second-year quarterback stinkbomb" written all over it in the first place, and even though it could turn into a sneaky shoutout depending on the secondary of each squad, it's hard to imagine that Adrian Peterson will be at full form to try and face 2011 rushing leader Maurice Jones-Drew ... provided he hasn't held out for a new deal.
Buccaneers at Vikings, October 25 (Thursday)
Every single team has to get a Thursday game as I understand it, so maybe it wasn't so bad of the NFL to stick these two stinkers together for one game.
| NFL releases 2012 schedule |
| NFL coverage on the go |
Here's an idea to make this game more exciting: Matt Cassel and Ryan Fitzpatrick shove their salaries into the center of the table and it's winner-take-all for whoever throws the least interceptions. In the event of a tie, Eric Berry and Stevie Johnson can thumbwrestle to decide the winner.
Jaguars at Colts, Week 3, September 23
It's difficult to rip too much on a game that features Andrew Luck and could very well be his first career win (if he lives through the Bears game). But please explain how this Week 3 game won't already be a matchup that will help to determine a high draft pick.
Seahawks at Bills ... in Toronto, Week 15, December 16
In case you weren't sure that we still like to treat Canada as our little stepbrother to the north, well, now you can be sure. Eh?
Jets at Dolphins, Week 3, September 23
My bosses' bosses' bosses' bosses' bosses' boss (I think that's right?) won't love my hate for this game, because a divisional matchup that features Tim Tebow heading to Florida is going to do some ratings. But the week leading up to it will not.
Browns vs. Colts, Week 7, October 21
There is a chance that this game could be interesting, if the Browns draft Brandon Weeden -- birthday is exactly one week before, so he could potentially break Vinny Testaverde's record for oldest quarterback to start in an NFL game.
Rams vs. Buccaneers, Week 16, December 23
I don't want to guarantee that these teams won't be in contention by this point, because that would be stupid. And I'm nothing if not entirely stupid. But the only way this game is awesome is if the Bucs don't draft Trent Richardson, the Rams do, then cut Steven Jackson, only to have him land in Tampa Bay and it all end with LeGarrette Blount refereeing a brawl at midfield.
Seahawks vs. Vikings, Week 9, November 4
I'm sorry, but whenever the primary storyline that you could drum up for a game involves the words "Tarvaris Jackson Bowl," you've probably run into a relatively unexciting matchup.
Browns vs. Chiefs, Week 14, December 9
The primary drama here? Romeo Crennel! Kansas City could be competitive, I suppose, and the Browns will make more noise than they did last year, I suppose, but if you're going to burn three hours of DVR space, I'd probably recommend the "Celebrity Apprentice" finale instead.
