Exhausted by the Patriots being back in the Super Bowl? Here's the coping guide for you

Back in 2020, the New England Patriots dynasty came to an end. After six Super Bowls, star quarterback Tom Brady made the decision to not re-sign with the organization that selected him No. 199 overall back in 2000. Sure, Mac Jones surprised some people as a rookie, leading New England to a 10-7 record in 2021. But that success was short-lived, and head coach Bill Belichick left the franchise following a 4-13 season in 2023.

It looked like the clock had struck midnight on this unprecedented run, but it took just one year for the Patriots to bounce back from a 4-13 season, to a 14-3 season. It took them just one year to go from one of the worst teams in the NFL to the Super Bowl. Their coach, Mike Vrabel, is a former Patriots linebacker that won three Super Bowls with New England during their run. The quarterback, Drake Maye, is having Brady-like success that could end with him winning NFL MVP and a Super Bowl in his first full season as a starter.

Football fans are lucky if they get to see their team win a Super Bowl. They are in super rare air if they get to witness a dynasty. Imagine if a fan base gets to experience two separate dynasties from the same club? It's completely unfair.

While the Patriots will have a chance to win a record-breaking seventh Super Bowl, are they exactly worth the hype this year? Is it possible they get blown out by Sam Darnold and the Seattle Seahawks, and that this entire season has been a farce of some kind? 

Below, I will provide Patriots h8ers ammunition with which they can arm themselves for their Super Bowl parties. I have faith you will be able to defeat any bandwagon Patriots fan in the art of discourse as New England loses to Seattle on Sunday. 

(Editor's note: This article is satirical. Jordan Dajani does not hate the Patriots)

Super Bowl 60: Can the Patriots protect Drake Maye well enough to beat Sam Darnold and Seattle?

Garrett Podell

Historically easy schedule 

Patriots fans HATE when you bring this up. Probably because it's been mentioned so much, but for good reason. It's mind-blowing. 

The Patriots' regular-season schedule featured teams that had a combined .391 winning percentage. It was not only the easiest schedule played in the NFL, but the easiest schedule for any team since the 1999 Rams, according to CBS Sports Research. In fact, it was the fourth-easiest schedule for any Super Bowl team in NFL history. 

The Patriots only played two teams that finished the season with a winning record, and they went 1-2 in those games (Buffalo Bills twice, and the Pittsburgh Steelers). The Patriots even began the year with a loss to the lowly Las Vegas Raiders -- who ended up winning just three games and being the worst team in the NFL!

Just look at this schedule (H/T Brandon Anderson of ActionNetworkHQ for the humorous anecdotes):

Of course the Patriots went 14-3. They probably should have gone 16-1, honestly.

An easy road to the Super Bowl

Despite the 14-3 record, the Patriots didn't earn the No. 1 seed in the conference. That ended up being a blessing in disguise, because the Patriots had a much easier path to the Super Bowl than anyone else. 

Wild card round: Los Angeles Chargers

The Chargers arrive to games and leave them via ambulance. No one viewed them as legitimate contenders with offensive tackles Rashawn Slater and Joe Alt being out for the year. Los Angeles went 6-6 without Alt in the lineup, while averaging 18.3 points per game. Then, Justin Herbert was playing through a broken left hand that he had surgically repaired in the middle of the season. He was the most pressured (263) and hit quarterback (129) in 2025, and put up one of the worst games of his career against the Patriots, throwing for just 159 yards in a 16-3 loss. Maye didn't play well in this game, but he didn't have to. 

Divisional round: Houston Texans

The Texans were considered a Super Bowl sleeper this year because of their incredible defense, which finished the season ranked No. 1 in yards allowed per game (277.2) and No. 2 in points allowed per game (17.4). Too bad they had C.J. Stroud at quarterback -- who was also missing his top two targets in Nico Collins and then tight end Dalton Schultz, who exited in the first half of the matchup in New England with a calf injury.

Stroud threw for 212 yards, one touchdown and threw four interceptions. Down double digits at halftime, people were wondering if Stroud could be benched for Davis Mills. Maybe that should have happened, as Stroud became the first player to ever fumble five times and throw five interceptions in a single postseason. The Texans turned the ball over five times, and fell to the Patriots, 28-16. 

AFC Championship Game: Denver Broncos

After New England defeated Houston, the No. 1 seed awaited the Patriots in the AFC Championship Game. The No. 1 seed without their STARTING QUARTERBACK. Bo Nix found a way to fracture his ankle late in the fourth quarter of the divisional round, leaving Jarrett Stidham to start in his place. Stidham had started just four NFL games, with the last coming in 2023. 

The Broncos actually jumped out to a 7-0 lead over the Patriots, but New England then scored 10 unanswered points in a football game that ended up taking place in a blizzard of epic proportions. The Pats escaped with a 10-7 victory. 

The Patriots averaged 18 points per game in their three postseason matchups. It's the fewest points scored by any team to make the Super Bowl since the 1979 Rams, per NFL Researcher. Sure, the defenses the Patriots had to play were above average. Thankfully, the opposing offenses were not. In fact, it was like the Patriots were playing 2019 Josh Rosen three times.

Drake Maye

The Patriots should be thankful that the offenses they have played this postseason were horrific, because Maye hasn't exactly looked like an MVP candidate either. His offensive line made him the first quarterback to ever be sacked five times in three games in a single postseason, while his 86 passing yards last week made him the second quarterback since 1990 to win a conference championship game with under 100 passing yards, joining backup Jimmy Garoppolo. 

Sure, weather affected the stats, but Maye hasn't been a superstar in the postseason.

Now, if the Patriots do win the Super Bowl, the haters can't say anything. New England would have won 18 games this season, and defeated the top defense in the league on the biggest stage of them all. This Patriots defense has been on fire as well, allowing the fewest points per game through three playoff games (8.7) since the 2000 Ravens, and it's clear that Vrabel has been quick to create the culture he wants. Even on the offensive side, Maye became the youngest quarterback since 1970 to lead the league in completion percentage and yards per attempt, and would become the first quarterback to win a Super Bowl in the season of his first playoff start since ... that guy Tom Brady. Maybe the Patriots are here to stay. Maybe it is the start of a new dynasty.