Half the fun of the NFL season is soaking up the silly soundbites that flow from players and coaches when they step up to the mic. For your enjoyment, we've selected some of our favorites from training camp, and we've also included a bonus -- our take on their take.

  • Vikings DE Jared Allen on if he’s worried about losing his persona among fans of his roughneck style now that he’s no longer wearing a mullet. “For me there is no persona, there’s just me having fun. Mullets are awesome, let’s be honest. In fact, I’d grow one with my hair falling out. I’m balding rapidly fast, so when I’m bald, I will have a ‘skullet.’ That would be pretty fun -- a cul-de-sac up there.” Rapid Retort: You lost us at “mullets are awesome.”

  • Bengals LB Rey Maualuga on the high expectations placed on him by outsiders: “I’m not Jesus, I’m not Superman. I am just going to be the best football player Rey can be.” Rapid Retort: You had us fooled for a while there on the Jesus thing, Rey, but now that we think about it, the hair isn't quite right and we don’t think Jesus referred to himself in the third person.

  • Seahawks WR Golden Tate on why he didn’t give his jersey number (81) to Terrell Owens: “Me and 81 have been through a lot; from donut shops to being inactive. I’m going to be loyal to 81.” Rapid Retort: In other words, “I was willing to sell it, but Terrell doesn’t have the cash.”

  • Browns coach Pat Shurmur on RB Montario Hardesty attempting to make a one-handed catch: “He's a running back, not a circus act.” Rapid Retort: A little bit of circus might be good in Cleveland. After all, the circus usually sells out.

  • Steelers LB Brandon Johnson on whether he’s a better fit to play inside or outside linebacker: “I’m kinda slim to be a linebacker; I don’t think I’m built to play anything.” Rapid Retort: That stuff about not being built to play anything? Leave that off your resume.

  • Raiders No. 3 QB Terrelle Pryor on his performance against the Cowboys in the team’s first preseason game: “I’m angry at myself. I don’t think I played well. I thought Matt (Leinart) played great. I thought Carson (Palmer) played great. I thought everybody else on the team played great. I just think I played like dog crap.” Rapid Retort: That stuff about playing like dog crap? Leave that off your resume.

  • Titans DE Kamerion Wimbley on teammate Shaun Smith’s 40-pound weight loss during the offseason: “He’s moving on to modeling after football. You’ll see him in GQ next to [Tom] Brady.” Rapid Retort: Not if Gisele has anything to say about it.

  • Browns coach Pat Shurmur on why backup DL Kiante Tripp played with the first-teamers during a practice early in training camp: “Maybe he bought somebody lunch.” Rapid Retort: Hopefully it wasn’t any of the big bodies on the defensive line; an undrafted FA doesn’t have Manning money to burn.

  • Former Miami Dolphins WR Chad Johnson to the South Florida Sun Sentinel on exploring secondary revenue streams: “Man, I’d always look into a second job. I’m thinking about going into porn. It’s not funny. I’m being serious. That’s what I would do. I’d have no choice.” Rapid Retort: Can we assume that Plan B is now Plan A?

  • Steelers CB Ike Taylor on WR Emmanuel Sanders: “He’s gotten a whole lot better since last year. A whole lot better. 360.” Rapid Retort: Not to go know-it-all on you, Ike, but doesn’t 360 put him right back where he started?

  • Seahawks FB Michael Robinson on the possibility of a perfect season in Seattle: “This offseason, guys that I've hung out with, guys that I can just hear in the locker room, everybody is talking about winning every game.” Rapid Retort: Could happen -- if the Seahawks move to the CFL.

RapidReports correspondents Joe Oberle, Paul Dehner Jr., John Breech, Marty Gitlin, Chris Adamski, Eric Gilmore, Matt Rybaltowski and Dave Carey contributed to this report.