The Mariners' trident and Nationals' wigs are elite celebrations. Make no mistake about it. But it begs the question: could we do better?
As we ranked home run celebrations across Major League Baseball, our imaginations started running wild. With nearly half the league still searching for a proper home run ritual, perhaps we could offer some suggestions. What could the Astros use as a prop in Space City? Or the Dodgers in the celebrity capital of the world?
The options are endless!
Hit a dinger. Find a prop. Celebrate with the boys. Consider these ideas our submission to getting in on the dugout festivities.
1. Astros: Telescope
Just imagine...Yordan Alvarez hits a 450-foot moonshot into the second deck of the right field bleachers in Minute Maid Park. He then circles the bases and trots into the dugout. All of a sudden, Astro players bring out a telescope to see how far his ball landed. This is Houston, aka Space City! Let's make it happen.
2. Yankees: Pick your facial hair
The "Neatness Counts" policy is part of wearing the Yankee Pinstripes: hair must not touch the collar and facial hair is not permitted. That said, beards and mustaches have always been part of the baseball culture. So, let's throw some fake beards, mustaches and wigs in the Yankees dugout as an incentive for hitting dingers.
Hit a home run, you get to choose your facial hair. Considering the Yankee rules, it feels naughty...but in a good way.
3. Padres: Surfin' USA
Just a surfboard is not quite enough. No, we need a total buy-in from the entire Padres team to make this vision work. Hit a home run, grab a surfboard, leap onto the sea of Padre players, and paddle through the wave of teammates as you crowd surf across the dugout. Of course, be careful of the rip. And remember: safety first (we're looking at you, Fernando).
4. Dodgers: Director's Chair
This is some low hanging fruit content. Find a pair of sunglasses. Then, go to one of those souvenir shops on Hollywood Boulevard and buy an Academy Award trophy, Director's Chair, and clapperboard. Hit a home run and immediately morph into Stephen Spielberg in the dugout.
5. Dodgers/Angels: Red Carpet
Two ideas for the Dodgers is unfair. So, hey, maybe the not-too-far-away Angels would consider it. Clear the runway and roll out the red carpet. The rest of the team poses as paparazzi, all while taking photos of the lucky dinger champ walking down the runway.
6. Rockies: Colorado Starter Kit
There are two minimum elements to a Colorado starter kit: 1.) you must own at least one Patagonia jacket, and 2.) you must drive a Subaru. So, let's throw a Patagonia jacket on C.J. Cron and company as they "drive" through their teammates on a kid-sized mini Subaru. It doesn't get more Colorado than that.
7. Boston Tea Party
Social media went bonkers when Great Britain brought out the tea cup celebration in the 2023 World Baseball Classic. It's simple, yet so elegant. Fenway Park is located less than three miles away from the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum. Wouldn't a Boston Tea Party in the Red Sox dugout be a sight to see? All it would take is a small kids table and some tea cups.
8. Blue Jays Bird Watching
Admittedly, this idea is reminiscent to the Astros' telescope. Nonetheless, the visual would be just as strong. The country of Canada is home to some of the greatest number of bird species in the world -- making it a paradise for bird watchers. In this case, Blue Jays players could sport a bird-watching hat and look through some binoculars to see where their home run ball wound up.
9. Oakland A's: Free Sodas
In the movie "Moneyball," Miguel Tejada tells David Justice "welcome to Oakland" when Justice learns that players must pay for the soda machine in the clubhouse. Let's reward the A's dingerman with a soda can -- this one is on the house.
10. Walker, Texas Ranger
The 20th century television show "Walker, Texas Ranger," originally featuring Chuck Norris, is considered one of the most popular action crime series of all time. When a Texas Ranger hits a tater, he is handed a rolling "walker" and "Texas Ranger" cowboy hat -- just as those among the real Texas Ranger Division commonly wear. I'm a sucker for a creative pun.
