There are very few things in life that can stir emotions within you like college football. For four months a year, millions of Americans decide to put their mental well-being in the hands of a collection of 18- to 24-year-old men they do not know personally. All they know is that they've chosen to wear their preferred uniform. Sometimes this decision brings joy. Other times it brings pain.
But what it always brings as kickoff draws near every week is anxiety. There's always the nervous energy of the unknown heading into a game. You can never be sure how things will go, and where the rollercoaster will take you. However, while we all feel it, some of us feel it more than others, and each week, The Anxiety Rankings aim to find the five most anxious places in the country.
Welcome to Week 4. Try to stay calm. You'll fail, but try all the same.
1. Anxiety Bowl I (Texas A&M at LSU)
This is the fourth edition of The Anxiety Rankings, and LSU has now been included in the No. 1 spot in three of them. What a roller coaster ride it's been for the Tigers and their fans, but at least this week they'll know they aren't carrying that anxiety alone.
This game, for all intents and purposes, is an elimination game. The loser will be 0-2 in SEC play, making it damn near impossible to climb above 14 other teams to earn the right to go to Atlanta and play for an SEC title. A second loss would also severely damage either team's chances at getting an at-large bid for the College Football Playoff.
LSU would be 2-2 with home games left against a newly feisty Mississippi State and conference powers Alabama and Texas. There are also road dates against a Kentucky team that just took down the Aggies in College Station, and an Auburn team that would be a tough out.
If you're LSU, and you spent all that money to make Brian Kelly go away just so you could spend even more on bringing Lane Kiffin to town with a new and expensive roster, only to finish 9-3 or 8-4. You basically just fired Brian Kelly to hire another version of Brian Kelly. Same results, but this time with a profile in Vanity Fair!
It's no less nerve-wracking on the A&M side of things. Should the Aggies drop this game -- and they're 8.5-point underdogs -- they're 0-2 in SEC play with home games left against Tennessee and Texas, as well as road dates with Missouri, Alabama, South Carolina and Oklahoma. Something tells me that if you're 0-2 with a 10-point home loss to Kentucky, you're not getting through all those games unscathed.
All you heard during the offseason as an Aggie was how last season, your best season since 2012, was a fluke. You were just the beneficiary of an easy schedule. You heard how losing Collin Klein would hurt your offense and that Marcel Reed would turn back into a pumpkin because of it.
Now, after watching Reed throw bounce passes to open receivers last week, you're wondering if everybody else was right. And if you lose this one? You're not just staring at the possibility of missing out on the CFP, but you're wondering if you'll make a bowl game.
2. Anxiety Bowl II (Oregon at USC)
Another Anxiety Bowl! And both will be played simultaneously in the most anxiety-addled window of the college football season thus far! Keep the Xanax nearby!
The Oregon side of this shouldn't be hard to understand. The Ducks already have a loss on their record that they weren't supposed to have.
The fact that it came a week after struggling at home to beat Boise State only makes it worse, and no 84-0 drubbing of Portland State will change the psyche of those around the program.
Now you're back on the road, facing the best team you've seen this season. A team you've dominated as of late. Not only have you won the last four meetings, but you've won eight of the last 10. And you're favored to do so again, but have you seen this USC offense? If Drew Mestemaker was able to carve your defense up, what's Jayden Maiava going to do to it?
What if you head down to Los Angeles and come home with another loss? Now you're 2-2, and you've still got games left against Ohio State and Michigan. Even if you win every remaining game except the Ohio State one -- which wouldn't be a given considering you're now 2-2 -- you still finish the season with a 9-3 record, and your best win is Michigan.
You're almost certain to miss out on the Big Ten Championship Game with a 7-2 mark in conference. Is 9-3 with a win over Michigan enough to get you an at-large? A loss this weekend and you've gone from preseason title favorite to practically out of the playoff picture before October.
As for USC, this is a prove-it week. You're 4-0.
Great. Congratulations.
You've beaten San Jose State, Fresno State, Louisiana and Rutgers. It doesn't impress anybody, and considering you were in an absolute shootout with Rutgers -- the same Rutgers that has lost to UMass and Boston College -- last week, it's hard to be overly confident with the Ducks coming to town.
It may have been your backups on defense allowing 56 points to SJSU and Louisiana, but it wasn't against Rutgers. That defense that was supposed to be better this year doesn't seem to be any better.
Now you're facing an Oregon team that has scored an average of 41.3 points against you in the last four meetings, and 43.0 in the last 10, coming to town, and it's a ticked-off group. If the Ducks stunt all over you again this weekend, then you're suddenly the same old Trojans in everyone's eyes again. You'll be called soft, but even worse, you'll be 0-1 in the Big Ten with games left against Penn State, Ohio State and Indiana. All that offseason optimism will be out the window.
3. Shane Beamer
Angry mobs might quiet down for a bit, but they seldom put the pitchforks far away. During the offseason, there was optimism about South Carolina. Shane Beamer had hired a new offensive coordinator in Kendall Briles, and he was going to get the best out of LaNorris Sellers by using him the correct way again.
They were going to play to his strengths! Through the first two games of the season, things were looking pretty good. Sure, nobody was going to be overly excited by wins over Kent State and Towson, but at least there weren't glaring concerns.
Last week against Mississippi State, you were getting players like Dylan Stewart and Jacarrius Peak back from injury. You were healthy again! And, sure, Mississippi State was off to a nice start, but it was still Mississippi State. They hadn't played a real team yet. They hadn't faced an SEC opponent.
Then, Mississippi State beat you and did so with a quarterback who appears to be much better than yours. Now you're 0-1 in the SEC with a loss to Mississippi State, and this week you're on the road to face Alabama.
And the fans? Oh, they're angry again. They weren't calling for Shane Beamer's head on a plate, but they're about ready to if things go extra poorly this weekend. Because while they might not be expecting a win on the road against the Tide, a bad loss will turn up the heat considerably because life ain't getting easier. Next week it's Kentucky, then it's Florida, Tennessee, Oklahoma and Texas A&M.
They might not have posted them yet, but you know the message boarders have their coaching hot lists ready to publish.
4. Texas fans
Everybody in Austin is feeling pretty good about themselves right now.
You had a great comeback win at home to beat Ohio State two weeks ago, and now you're the No. 1 team in the country. But when you're at the top, that just means you have more to lose than anybody else.
So there's reason to be nervous if you're a Texas fan. You're on the road this week against Tennessee, and not only is it your first road game of the year, but your recent history outside of Austin hasn't been great.
Since joining the SEC, you're only 6-3 on the road overall, but the record is a bit misleading. Two of those losses came when you were an underdog to Ohio State and Georgia last season. The third loss, last year against Florida, is what ultimately kept you out of the College Football Playoff (sorry, Steve Sarkisian, no matter how loudly you want to pretend it was the CFP committee not respecting SOS, it was just one terrible loss to a 4-8 team).
And while that Florida loss was the only time you've lost as a road favorite in the SEC, you haven't exactly won convincingly in these spots. There was also the 16-13 win over Kentucky, followed by the 45-38 win at Mississippi State. In six road conference games under Sarkisian, the Longhorns might be 5-1 straight up, but they're only 1-5 against the spread.
They underperform in these spots, and you're only a 4.5-point favorite against the Vols. You were a 5.5-point favorite last year when you lost to Florida. What if it happens again? What if you lose on the road to Tennessee with a date with Oklahoma looming, as well as more road games against Missouri, LSU and Texas A&M? Oh, and home games against Florida, Ole Miss and Mississippi State? The win over Ohio State is great, but what if you waste it?
5. Ryan Silverfield
Listen, it's never a great sign when your school's Board of Trustees is announcing it wants to review your football program when you just got the job a few months ago. Nor is it a good sign when your fans aren't showing up to your games in September, and they all want your athletic director's head on a spike.
But that's the situation Ryan Silverfield finds himself in already, and things aren't going to get much easier. You got your doors blown off by Utah two weeks ago, and last week, Georgia was running through practice drills on the sideline during a 45-17 drubbing just because it felt like they weren't getting enough work from facing you.
Now, you would think a home game against Tulsa this weekend is precisely what you need, and maybe it is.
But you have to be a little concerned about the fact you're only a 7-point favorite, right? Like, in theory, shouldn't an SEC team be favored by far more against little ol' Tulsa? If we look at the implied odds of the spread, Arkansas is expected to win this game roughly 73% of the time.
That's better than 50%, but it's not great! The idea that there's a 27% chance you could lose at home to Tulsa is not reassuring! Also, let's not forget Tulsa already has a win over Oklahoma State, the same team that beat Oregon. The Golden Hurricane aren't exactly a pushover.
Arkansas doesn't just need to win this game; it needs to dominate this game. Doing so isn't likely to turn the heat down much, if at all, but at least it'll keep the heat from rising for now.
