I don't usually want to write any team off after watching it play just two games, but guys, I'll be honest, I don't think the Dolphins are going to make the playoffs this year, and now that I'm looking at their schedule, I'm not sure they're even going to win a game. 

I know we're only two weeks through the season, but I'm starting the 0-17 watch now. 

If you're wondering how bad the Dolphins have been this year, just consider this: They're the only team that has yet to hold a lead in a game. Forget winning, they haven't even HELD A LEAD. We are heading into Week 3 and they have not been in the lead for even a single second this season. If you can't hold a lead, you can't win. That's how you end up 0-17. 

That's a rough stat for Dolphins fan, but if you're a Falcons fan or a Chargers fan, you can't laugh, because your team might be worse. 

The Falcons haven't run a single play in the red zone this year. I don't know if they're doing red zone work in practice, but if they are, they can just skip over that this week and work on something else. It's almost impossible to go the first two weeks of the season without getting into the red zone a single time. As a matter of fact, the Falcons are the first team in 18 years to make it through the first two weeks without running a red zone play. 

And then there's the Chargers. 

The Chargers have literally set football back 100 years. My takeaway from that stat is that the Chargers are essentially one game away from folding their franchise, and to be honest, that might be for the best. 

So did I pick against the Chargers, Falcons and Dolphins this week? Let's get to the Week 3 picks and find out. 

Actually, before we get to the picks, here's a quick reminder that you can check out the weekly picks from every CBSSports.com NFL expert by clicking here. I get 1.7 cents every time someone clicks through on that link, so make sure to click early and often. But I also get docked 1.7 cents every time I get a pick wrong, so it all evens out. 

Let's see how much I'm going to lose this week. 

NFL Week 3 picks

Texans (0-2) at Colts (0-2)

Somehow, a game between two WINLESS teams might be my favorite game on the schedule this week. Actually, now that I'm looking at the entire Week 3 schedule, this is probably closer to my fourth favorite game, but that's still pretty high for a matchup involving two 0-2 teams. 

There's a good chance that the Colts and Texans are both actually good, but we just don't know it yet, because the NFL scheduling department threw them under a bus to start the season. 

Out of these two teams, I'm probably more worried about the Colts. This team hasn't won a game since Nov. 9. They lost Alec Pierce to an injury in Week 2 and he won't be able to play this week, so that means the Colts' passing game will be taking a hit. This feels like a week where Jonathan Taylor is going to be getting a lot of work, but I'm not sure that's a good thing with the Colts about to face one of the best defenses in the NFL. 

Not only does Houston have what should end up being a top defense, but this year, the Texans have the offense to go with it. I know, that seems like a crazy thing to say with the Texans coming off a game where they scored just SIX POINTS, but they shot themselves in the foot against the Bengals. They had a missed field goal, a separate botched field goal snap and a failed fourth-and-inches in Bengals territory. If one or all of those things go their way, it's a different game. 

Although they struggled to score, they did just fine in Week 1 by putting up 31 points against the Bills. I'm starting to think the C.J. Stroud found a time machine and went back and kidnapped the 2023 version of himself, because that's what he's looked like this year. He's thrown for 627 yards through two weeks, which is the second-highest number in the NFL, and a big reason that's happened is because he's been playing smart football. The Texans likely won't have Nico Collins this week, but Stroud didn't have him in Week 2 and he still managed to throw for 353 yards. 

This is the third time in the past four seasons that the Texans have started 0-2 and on the previous two occasions (2023, 2025), they made the playoffs. I'm starting to think they're going 0-2 on purpose. 

PICK: Texans 27-24 over Colts

Vikings (2-0) at Buccaneers (0-2)

  • Sunday, 4:05 p.m. ET on Fox (Stream on Fubo -- try for free)

My favorite game to play every week is to try and guess who the Vikings' starting quarterback is going to be.  

The NFL is a quarterback-driven league, except in Minnesota. If the Vikings have proven one thing over the past 12 months, it's that they can win games no matter who's under center. As a matter of fact, with their win over the Bears in Week 2, they became the first team in NFL HISTORY to win four straight games with four different starting quarterbacks. 

Let's check out the list: 

2025 -- Week 17 starting QB: Max Brosmer
2025 -- Week 18: J.J. McCarthy
2026 -- Week 1: Kyler Murray 
2026 -- Week 2: Carson Wentz

At this point, they should just start someone new every week. I think Jimmy Garoppolo is available in free agency. Call him. 

Actually, the Vikings don't need to call anyone and that's because Kyler Murray will be returning to the field on Sunday after playing just three possessions in Week 1. 

Whether it's Murray, Wentz or anyone else, it almost doesn't matter who the Vikings have at QB because their defense is so dominant. This is a team that will happily win games 9-3, just like it did on Sunday. 

The Vikings' defense is one of the best in the NFL: The unit is fun to watch and I'm not just saying that because one of their players celebrated a turnover in Week 2 by doing the "Hot Dog" dance. 

If you have a kid under five, the Vikings are now their favorite team just because of that celebration. 

I trust the Vikings' defense more than almost any other defense in the NFL right now, but I think their offense is going to struggle in Tampa Bay. At 0-2, the Buccaneers' season is essentially on the line: Over the past 30 years, no NFC team has started 0-3 and rebounded to make the playoffs. It's put up or shut up time in Tampa and if the Bucs don't win this game, they might start looking to see if there's any fine print in Baker Mayfield's contract to see if they can get a refund on his extension. I don't think NFL contracts work like that, but it doesn't hurt to check. 

I think the desperate Bucs somehow find a way to pull off the upset here. 

PICK: Buccaneers 19-16 over Vikings

Ravens (1-1) vs. Cowboys (1-1) in Brazil

  • Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET on CBS (Stream on Paramount+)

For the first time ever, the NFL is playing a game in Rio De Janeiro and the best part about that is the fact that I now get to remind you about the time I played an extra in a movie that took place in Rio De Janeiro. I was a train passenger in "Fast Five" and my train in the movie was headed to Rio, but I'm not actually sure if it made it, because the train got blown up by Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. 

After my performance, most people thought I was going to be the next George Clooney, but I decided to pursue the much more glamorous life of being an NFL writer. And this game is where that decision is finally going to pay off big time, because I'm definitely the only NFL Media member who has ridden a fictional train to Rio, which basically makes me the only expert you can trust on an NFL game being played there. And let's not forget, this game is on CBS. It's like my entire professional life has come full circle. 

Speaking of circles, I feel like the Ravens' offense is going to run circles around the Cowboys. The Cowboys had one of the worst defenses in the NFL last year, and although they did make personnel improvements this offseason, I'm not sure those have actually helped. Through two weeks, the Cowboys have given up the fourth-most rushing yards in the NFL and if you can't stop the run, the Ravens are the last team you want to be facing. 

With Derrick Henry and Lamar Jackson on their offense, the Ravens have averaged 155 yards per game on the ground, which is the fifth-highest number in the NFL through two weeks. I'm still convinced that the only reason the Ravens lost in Week 2 is because they apparently forgot that Henry existed. The Ravens only gave Henry FIVE CARRIES in the second half against the Saints. The Ravens were leading by double digits at halftime and when you're leading by double digits, that's the perfect time to lean on your future Hall of Fame running back, but Baltimore refused to do that. 

I think new Ravens offensive coordinator Declan Doyle has learned his lesson and he'll be giving the Cowboys a VERY healthy dose of Henry. I will be betting the Over on whatever the number the oddsmakers throw out when it comes to the total number of carries for Henry. 

These are two high-flying offenses and the only thing that will slow them down is if the field isn't in great condition, but that's certainly not a concern this week, right? RIGHT? 

If the field isn't in great condition, I'm not sure who would get the advantage there, but I'm taking the Ravens either way. 

PICK: Ravens 34-27 over Cowboys

Raiders (2-0) at Saints (1-1)

  • Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET on CBS (Stream on Paramount+)

Out of all the games in Week 3, this one intrigues me the most and that's mostly because I still have no idea what to make of either team.

On the Raiders' end, I have to admit, I think I might have been wrong about them this year. After they beat Miami in Week 1, I wasn't impressed, because everyone beats the Dolphins. Heading into Week 2, I thought they were going to get a reality check against the Chargers, but apparently, the Raiders don't do reality checks. Instead, they've somehow created a bizarre new reality where they actually win games. I'm never been more convinced that we live in a simulation. 

As for the Saints, if they had converted a two-point conversion on the final play of the game in Week 1 against the Lions, they'd be 2-0 right now, but they didn't. 

One reason the Saints are so hard to figure out is because it's like they forget how to play football during the first half. They've only scored six total points in the first half this season, which is tied with the Browns for the fewest in the NFL. Even the Dolphins -- THE DOLPHINS -- have more first-half points this year than New Orleans. 

If you've ever seen a movie that's so boring over the first 45 minutes that you almost turn it off, but then you keep it on because it starts to get crazy over the final 45 minutes, that's basically every Saints game. Tyler Shough currently leads the NFL with 662 passing yards, and here's the wild part: Out of that total, 350 of those yards have come in either the fourth quarter or overtime. That's over half. 

Basically, if you don't throw a knockout punch on the Saints in the first half, they're probably going to beat you. 

With the Raiders, they've beaten two teams that are a combined 0-4, so like I said, I have no idea what to make of them. I don't really trust Kirk Cousins, but I might not have to trust him to take the Raiders here. The Saints have given up the seventh-most rushing yards in the NFL this year, so Klint Kubiak could just decide to make this an Ashton Jeanty game. That was the route the Raiders went in Week 1 and it worked to perfection with Jeanty totaling 147 yards (102 rushing, 45 receiving) and two touchdowns in a win over the Dolphins. However, the problem with that game plan is that the Raiders rank dead last in yards per carry this year at 2.8, so a run-heavy plan might not work. 

Defensively, one thing the Raiders do well is get after the passer. They've racked up eight sacks through two weeks, which is tied for the most in the NFL, and now, they get to face a QB in Shough, who has taken the second-most sacks in the NFL through two weeks. On top of that, the Saints will be without starting left tackle Kelvin Banks, who suffered a sprained ankle on Sunday. 

I think what I'm trying to say here is that Shough is going to get sacked five times in this game but somehow still find a way to lead the Saints to a win with another brilliant fourth-quarter performance. 

PICK: Saints 27-24 over Raiders

Rams (1-1) at Broncos (1-1)

  • Sunday, 8:20 p.m. ET on NBC (Stream on Fubo -- try for free)

They should give the winner of this game a mini Lombardi Trophy since this is the Super Bowl we almost got last season. We came one injury and 6 yards away from getting this game, and honestly, based on how boring the Super Bowl LX ended up being, I think I would have preferred this. The Broncos made it to the AFC title game, but they had to play the Patriots without Bo Nix and they ended up losing. On the Rams' end, they made it to the NFC title game and came 6 yards away from scoring a potential game-winning touchdown against the Seahawks, but they came up short and Seattle went to the Super Bowl. 

Now, this is the part where I'm going to stop talking about last year, because these two teams definitely are NOT playing as well as they did last year. At least, not yet. 

In 2025, the Broncos had one of the best defenses in the NFL.They gave up the second-fewest rushing yards, which is the total opposite of this season. Through two weeks, the Broncos are giving up 157.5 rushing yards per game, which is the fifth-most in the NFL. 

On the Rams' end, I have no idea what to make of them. They flew 16 hours to Australia and then immediately proceeded to get steamrolled by the 49ers. They did win on Monday night, but they beat a short-handed Giants team that didn't have Jaxson Dart for most of the game. So the Rams beat up on an offense that didn't have its best player. 

On paper, I think these two teams are pretty evenly matched, but I think Rams will have two things working against them: They have to play on the road and they have to fly halfway across the country on a short week after playing Monday night. 

The NFL scheduling department is clearly trying to break the Rams. After flying 15,842 miles round trip to Melbourne in Week 1, they're now adding 1,724 round-trip miles on this flight to Denver. By the end of Week 3, the Rams will have traveled more miles than 13 different teams will travel ALL SEASON. 

That's a lot of jet lag, and as we know, the Rams don't deal well with jet lag. I'll take the Broncos in a thriller. 

PICK: Broncos 23-21 over Rams

NFL Week 3 picks: All the rest

Packers 27-13 over Falcons (Thursday)
Bills 34-24 over Chargers
Panthers 20-17 over Browns
Lions 31-24 over Jets
Chiefs 31-17 over Dolphins
Bengals 27-20 over Steelers
Giants 20-16 over Titans
Seahawks 30-13 over Commanders
Jaguars 23-20 over Patriots
49ers 24-16 over Cardinals
Eagles 23-16 over Bears (Monday)

Last week

Best pick: 49ers over Dolphins. Last week, I predicted that the 49ers would beat the Dolphins by exactly 22 points and guess what happened? The 49ers beat the Dolphins by exactly 22 points. Normally, this is the part where I'd say I'm a genius, but we already know that, so I don't need to brag. 

With the Dolphins, making predictions is easy: All you have to do is pick against them and you'll get the pick right. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. If you're wondering how bad the Dolphins are this season, this play pretty much sums it up. 

I'm not sure what rock bottom is in the NFL, but not being able to get off a punt has to be close. 

Every year, I get about five emails asking me if I do survivor pools and the answer used to be no, but I finally signed up for one last year (I went out in Week 5 when the Cardinals blew a 15-point lead in the fourth quarter to the Titans and I'm still bitter). Anyway, I'm also in one this year and my strategy is simple: I'm going to pick against the Dolphins every week. 

Apparently, half the country took the Chargers with their Week 1 survivor pick and got eliminated. In Week 2, two of the most popular picks were the Buccaneers and Ravens. They both lost. 

The key to winning a survivor pool is to not overthink. Just pick against the Dolphins. 

Worst pick: Cardinals over Seahawks. I'm not sure what I was drinking last week when I made my picks, but it must have been something with alcohol in it, because I somehow convinced myself that the Cardinals were going to beat the Seahawks. Going into the season, the general consensus was that Arizona was going to be one of the worst teams in the NFL this year, but I chose to ignore the general consensus and pick the Cardinals anyway. In my defense, when I found out that the general consensus was against candy corn, I stopped trusting it. I love candy corn and I'm going to give it to every kid I see this Halloween. Man, my neighbors are going to hate me, aren't they?

Picks record

  • Straight up in Week 2: 11-5
  • SU overall: 20-12
  • Against the spread in Week 2: 10-6
  • ATS overall: 16-16

You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter, and if he's not doing one of those things, he's probably out autographing copies of Fast Five for all of his adoring fans.

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